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It’s morning, again. Having to get up this early feels like being under siege. Okay, it’s probably not that bad. But I really hate mornings. My body is confused… I think it tried to throw up my first swallow of coffee. Braeden was successfully delivered to school, and Avery cried as he got out of the car, again. I assume she’ll adjust, emotionally at least. Not sure about the getting up early part.

Yesterday was a mix. I started at Nordstrom Rack and did find a shirt to wear to Friday’s Toad show. Yes! I tried on 10 things. Two worked, but I could only afford one (Chris would say I couldn’t truly afford the one item, either. I would insert that he could not afford having to deal with my emotional state if I had to go to that show in something I felt unattractive in. Priorities). I didn’t like a few, and probably half didn’t fit well. I see at as a victory, regardless. Avery was semi-patient in the fitting room. She complained quite a bit because I wouldn’t let her try anything on. I finally let her try on my shirt, but that didn’t really satisfy her. She obviously knows the difference between Mommy’s shirt and beautiful new clothes! Afterward we went to Target and got overnight diapers, and then to the bakery. As we went about our business, the day got hotter, which is tough when the a/c in your car isn’t functioning. After the bakery we went to pick up Braeden from school, and he was almost 15 minutes late getting out. We were at least five minutes early, so it was a miserable mix. Avery had fallen asleep twice during the course of our errands, but of course was wide awake and hysterical during the wait outside the school. I sang to her a lot trying to calm her down. It was about 90 degrees out, and at least 95 inside the car. I would have gotten out to wait, but we had to pick up Braeden’s friend as well so we were in a rush.

As it turned out, Braeden was late because he was doing his class “job.” As in previous years, the kids are assigned jobs that rotate, usually weekly. Braeden’s current job is to water the plants, but his teacher told him he had to do it after school. I said he needed to find a moment to have a talk with her. We pick up his friend twice a week… I can’t show up 15 minutes late. Moreover, given that the a/c isn’t functioning and it’s quite hot, we can’t just sit in our car while Braeden does his “class job.” I realize it’s not his teacher’s fault our a/c is broken, but she can’t really ask him to stay late regularly. Braeden suggested he could do it during recess… ugh. So not my goal. He shouldn’t have to give up his social time for this job, either. Is it just me? I hope it resolves quickly. I don’t want to be “that parent,” but none of this seems reasonable.

Chris texted at 2:30 PM to ask if I could buy food for last night’s dinner. Awful timing. We had just gotten back from pickup, and Avery needed to eat and to take a nap. Desperately, on that last part. It wasn’t feasible for me to go back out. The kids were doing their homework, and Avery fell asleep fairly soon after she ate. Trust me when I tell you that none of us wanted to get back in that car. (What did people do before air conditioning?) Anyway, I felt bad, but I couldn’t go out. As it was, Avery slept for just over two hours. I was trying to clean the house in the dark while tiptoeing around her, cringing every time the floor squeaked. It was ridiculous. I put off getting myself ready – of course I did. Chris’ friend ended up being almost 30 minutes early, and Avery was still asleep. I was not exactly looking my best and obviously Chris wasn’t home yet. Awkward! I am clearly not going to be scoring the title of “Hostess with the Mostest” anytime soon. It was so embarrassing! The visit itself was very nice. I really like Chris friend; it’s too bad he lives out of the country. He’s a nice guy and easy to be around, in spite of the awkwardness of the situation.

Today, my mom arrives. I’m excited to see her; I miss my family a lot. My mom used to live here, but moved back to Chicago several years ago. My sister and niece and nephew live there as well. My favorite uncle, my best friend from college…. Every now and then I think about what it would be like to move back. Being closer to many of the people I love has a lot to recommend it. Starting over again does not. It’s a difficult situation. I wouldn’t miss them all quite so much if we could afford to travel. But we can’t, and we’re quite a long way from being able to do so. It could easily cost $1,200 just to get the four of us there. Right now having that kind of available income is just a fantasy.

Two days until Toad! I’m so excited to see the friends who are flying in for the show. What a gift music can be! Music and friendship… two of the best parts of life. Oh, and family! I’m focusing on the good. Right now, it’s almost entirely good.

I still have too much paperwork to fill out for Braeden’s school. Better get to it.