Today was a good first day, across the board. Braeden likes his new teacher and his new class, which is awesome. I had a wonderful friend who stepped in and took pictures when the batteries in my camera died, so the First Day of Fifth Grade is officially documented. Avery enjoyed her first day of Mommy & Me (2’s class) as well. We had the same teacher and classroom for Braeden’s 3’s class, so today was a bit of an emotional experience for me (hello, flashbacks)! It was great seeing old friends, and I’m looking forward to making new ones. The first day of school is always so hopeful!
I had another mom come up and compliment me on my blog. It’s apparently meant something to her, which is… God. Phenomenal, honestly. I do sometimes feel as if I’m writing into a void. I never know who’s reading it, or if it impacts anyone other than me. Honestly, I am doing this largely for me, so in that sense, the blog works. Still, it would be disappointing if I was the only one it meant something to. Every writer, even the wannabe-writers, even the (gasp!) bloggers not-so-secretly want to have impact, to have their words matter to someone. I don’t know how good of a job I did of conveying how much her words meant to me. I’m better at writing than I am at articulating my feelings in person. Also, I’m always a little startled when someone mentions the blog. Not embarrassed, exactly, but… unnerved? Happy, too. I am deliberately open here, and it’s liberating. I do edit when necessary, but I do it as little as I can manage. I do a lot of editing in person, and not entirely by design. I’m just… I don’t know. I don’t think I read as shy, but I am, somewhat. I always feel awkward in group settings and I’m never sure how I’ll be received. It’s harder with new people (and there were many today; it’s a large class), but I can feel overwhelmed even in groups of people I know. Anyway, back to my original point. To have the mom I mentioned tell me that my writing meant something to her blew me away. It’s a reciprocal gift, I guess, because hearing that gave me so much in return. She told me to keep writing, which meant a lot as well. Sometimes I suspect that people might wish I would write a bit less, or less often, at least. My nearly nonstop stream-of-consciousness thing can be a bit much. Let’s just say Twitter will never be my medium.
It’s not that I don’t want to hear that people are reading it, even in person. It’s pretty amazing, really. It just takes me a minute to recover. I want people to read it, and to feel like they can comment. Having an audience matters to me. In fact, I have 99 followers now! It’s been at that number for a couple of days, which is mildly frustrating. I know WordPress will acknowledge my milestone when I hit 100 followers… just in case you think one person can’t make a difference!
I am exhausted from this day of firsts. Avery woke several times last night, and getting up this morning was a major struggle. I let Avery sleep as long as possible, and threw her clothes onto her still-sleeping form. I wish someone could have done the same for me! By the time we got home from Mommy & Me, we were both tired. Avery even fell asleep on the living room floor! I feel as if I could do the same at the moment. Chris is working late tonight, of course he is. I am, as always, grateful for the income. I wouldn’t mind a reprieve, though. I am wiped out! It’s looking like a pizza night. Lose weight before the Toad show? Ha. Can I get wings with that?