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Chris still hasn’t heard anything about the job he interviewed for. The last interview went very well; they were talking about things like health insurance rather than whether or not he would get the job. There was a small question of salary. The woman he interviewed with last said that $X was as high as they could go. When Chris mentioned that on the way out to the man he had interviewed with the previous day, his response was, “We really love you and I will try to get you more than that.” It sounded all good, but that was two days ago. He had emailed the original guy to get the woman’s contact information so he could send a thank you note, and he has yet to respond. All very frustrating.

I know Chris is anxious, and I don’t blame him a bit. He wants an answer, and moreover he had reasonable expectation that he would have one by now. For whatever reason, I am not feeling any anxiety whatsoever. I have a very uncharacteristic “whatever happens will happen” attitude about the whole thing. Highly atypical. I’d like to say that it’s Chris’ turn to be stressed and I am this calm so I can be there for him, but honestly, that isn’t it. We often experience high stress breakdowns in tandem. Inconvenient, but it’s the nature of the beast, I think.

I suspect part of my calmness comes from the fact that I don’t view this job as particularly ideal to begin with. It’s not as much money as we’d prefer (don’t laugh; I know beggars can’t be choosers, but there is a minimum necessary for, well, life), and the commute is still looking very ugly. If you take a salary that already isn’t covering the minimum necessary and add to that $400 or so in gas a month, you have a big issue. Also, I just don’t trust these people. To recap, last September or October, Chris got a call from his employment agency rep saying there was a perfect job, and he’d start tomorrow! Could he hurry and email a new copy of his portfolio right away? Within half an hour the story had changed to “they’re interviewing several people tomorrow.” Then tomorrow turned into “later that week,” which turned into never happened. Several months later, same job, same company. Another portfolio request. They’re ready this time. Uh huh. Hurry up and wait. Still, nothing happened, not even an interview. There might have been one other fire drill portfolio email after that, I can’t remember. I do know the call was made again in May, and this time he interviewed twice and got what was supposed to be a real, full-time position. Then he found out it was temp-to-perm, but still full-time, through the agency for at least 90 days. Less thrilling, but still good. Then full-time turned into part-time, which turned into “there’s no work right now.”

So anyway, this full-time, permanent, not-through-an-agency position is with another branch of the same freaking company. Hilarious, right? Pretty much. I got tired just typing all of that. I am hoping you can see why I am not too worked up about this. Will they give him the job? Maybe. Your guess is as good as mine. Even if they do, though, I would have a difficult time feeling truly secure. It would be good while it lasted, but I just can’t bring myself to invest the energy in worrying about it. I am frustrated for Chris. I feel like he’s been jerked around by these people, whether or not it’s been their intent, to a ridiculous degree. It goes without saying that he deserves so much better. It really isn’t fair, but what else is new?

I wish I could maintain this Buddha-like attitude about the whole thing, but I probably won’t. Give me a week or so and another scary number in our bank account, and I will be back to my freaked out, panic-stricken self. I spend a good portion of my life wracked with worry about our finances. If I can have even a day or two free from it, a day or two in which I can help support Chris, all the better. He spends more than enough time holding me together.

So the waiting game continues, at least for now. Wish us luck. Also, if you know where luck is hanging out, feel free to give us the directions. We got lost a few streets back….

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