Mood: Annoyed

What’s with these people who follow your blog but whose blog sites are basically giant infomercials? “Want to make money blogging? Ask ME how!” Seriously? Don’t you people have anything better to do? No, I will not be following your void of a blog just because you followed mine. Get a life!

The truth is, I hope I make money through writing someday, but it seems highly unlikely that blogging will be the medium that accomplishes that. I blog for one reason: because it makes me feel better. That can be broken down into a few categories:

1. I feel better when I write. The blog is a great place to dump and occasionally process the tangled mess that is my mind.

2. I like writing, that complex act of stringing words together in a way that moves me, or – ideally – moves someone else as well Whether or not I have anything important to say is irrelevant. Writing makes me happy, and I’m hoping if I do it more often I might improve.

3. I like knowing other people are reading it. It motivates me.

Confession: I hardly read anyone else’s blog. I won’t follow a blog just because someone followed mine. I appreciate the interest, but something really needs to pique mine before I follow one, largely because I don’t have time. I have to fight for the time to do this. Also, I don’t want anyone else’s blog to color my perception of what blogging “should” be. If I started following other’s blogs right and left, eventually I would bump into one that intimidated me, somehow. Someone whose writing was brilliant in a way I’d dreamed mine could be, or someone whose words had such evident value that I’d become ashamed of my endless navel gazing. That’s just how I operate. So for now, avoidance is key.

What I am doing here, primarily, is trying to find my OWN voice. If I read too many other blogs, all I’ll hear is the voices in my head telling me I’m not good enough, or telling me I can’t. No, thanks. I think I’ll stick to this for now, whatever it is. Thanks for reading. Truly. The fact that you are reading this matters. It encourages me, and gives me that confidence I am so endlessly seeking. Yes, you. Friend from my past, friend from my present, imaginary friend, anoymous stranger… each of you. Thanks.