Avery has sleep issues, and they’re driving me crazy. Avery is very much Daddy’s Girl, which is to say that if Chris is here, she has eyes only for him. It’s difficult for both of us in different ways. Chris calls her “The Barnacle,” and while it’s easy to see that her attachment to him can be far from a good time, I can’t quite bring myself to feel sorry for him. Those of you who are thinking, “It’s a phase” are undoubtedly right, but this particular phase has been going on for months already, and I’m growing impatient. I am just sensitive enough that regardless of how many times I try to talk myself out of it, it messes with my head. I feel like I am invisible to my own daughter when her Daddy is around, and it makes me emotional. The lone exception to this invisibility problem is bedtime, and that’s where the current problem starts.
As Chris is now going to work every morning, he is trying to get to bed earlier. We’ve been struggling with the new schedule, and Avery is the biggest part of that struggle. She doesn’t want to go to bed unless both Chris and I are there. Remember, we co-sleep. Chris has tried taking her to bed with him, but she just rolls around, chatters away and yells for me. If I bring her into the living room with me, she screams and yells for Chris. We’ve had nights of bringing her back and forth, and Chris doesn’t get the sleep he wants. What usually ends up happening is that I have to come to bed – whether I want to or not – and just lie there. Generally I can’t even read on the Nook without disturbing her, so I’m just stuck there, unmoving. When I am lucky I can wait until she falls asleep and just sneak away. It’s difficult, though, because she is a very light sleeper, and prefers to sleep glued to me. Last night I got completely stuck, and woke up this morning with my contacts still in and my mouth tasting like an old sock. Fun.
It should be said, I don’t handle being forced to go lie in bed gracefully. It makes me rather cranky. And just so we’re clear, by “cranky” I mean totally bitter and bitchy. I am not gracious. I am not understanding. I can sit and type this and tell you very logically that Chris is the one getting up at 6 AM, and he needs a decent amount of sleep. It makes perfect sense. But at 11:30 PM, when I would rather be on Facebook or Pinterest or (most likely) blogging, all of that logic will be entirely absent and I will be grumpy and whiny and petulant. I will be running neck and neck with Avery in the race for Most Disagreeable. Let’s face it, I’ll probably win.
P.S. I have been trying to post this blog for about seven hours now. I originally typed it in email, then saved it as a Word doc. When I tried to paste it into WordPress, I had every issue imaginable. WordPress seems to have gone through an update today, and its current version wasn’t a fan of my system. My (wonderful, wonderful, patient) husband finally found something to download that resolved it, but I’ve been going crazy trying to get around the problems I was having. I even found a WordPress app for my Nook, which may prove useful. Still, typing an entire post using one finger doesn’t sound like a great time, even to me. I was willing, though. It reminds me of this scene from the British TV show “Absolutely Fabulous.” One of the main characters tells her friend, “I tried having my jaw wired shut to lose weight. It didn’t take. My will to speak was too strong.” That’s kind of how I felt… even if I had to type the whole damned post with one finger, I was going to do it. I am exceptionally stubborn when motivated. And boy, am I motivated.